"oh my God, wait and see, what will soon become of me? This frozen heart and screaming wheels, does that screaming come from me? I"m dizzy from all this spinning."

I'm scared of the unknown. I requested information from Olivet Nazarene university about library information specialist. I feel like i'm on the edge of a cliff looking off at the rocks below and i'm not sure what to do. Do i jump and end up soaring or will i just crash in the rocks. There's problems like the money for the classes. I really don't want to have to put off on a garage for school. There's not knowing if i'll be able to find a job once i'm done with the program. There's what if after i do find a job i then don't like it like i dont' like this one.
Ugh, where's my rock i can hide under. Also part of the information that i got from Olivet was that a cohort is starting in February at martino Junior high in New Lenox for the degree that i want. When i got the email about that i thought, well i have to do it, it's right in new lenox, for one evening a week, and in less then 2 years i'll have my degree...and then my brain started work over time, over analyzing like it does...and then i become depressed and uncertain.


"I could not see for the fog in my eyes, I could not feel for the fear in my life"  "i'm not a stranger in the hands of the Maker."

The saxophonist from Dave Matthews Band died yesterday from complications from an ATV accident in June. I am sad because never again will i go to a DMB concert with the whole band. =(  You will be missed LeRoi, with your huge dark sunglasses because you had stage fright, but yet you took them off at a concert at soldier field and i felt so special to be a part of the concert, when i'm sure there were other concerts that you took them off for. Good Bye LeRoi. =(